Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Love in Any Language

We had a discussion at work the other day about love. About soul mates, and whether you have one true love or not. About how you know you want to be with someone forever. About marriages of choice and arranged marriages. Having been married for almost 13 years, I guess it was natural for them to ask me my thoughts.

I realize it's often perspective - to my friend from India, arranged marriages don't seem that unusual, and he claims love often blossoms, though he, himself, is in a relationship that was not arranged by his parents.

I'm a romantic, but not a believer in the "one true love" concept. I personally believe there is a small subset of people you might love; you fall in love when you cross paths with one of those people who is looking for love too. How else could you explain widows or widowers who find a second love in their life? Trust me, the Dr. and I have explored the hundreds of things that had to happen to get our paths to cross at that exact right moment. Even down to the persistence of my friend Stacey who insisted she was going to find a Dr. that night at the party I almost didn't go to.

In discussing things, I thought of my own parents. I don't think my stepfather is my mother's soul mate at all. But they've been married 38 years, and I know they both love each other in their own way. Certainly not in the way you see in the movies. Maybe sometimes love isn't all fireworks and passion; maybe sometimes its good enough to have a decent, hardworking man who can provide a life for a divorced woman and her year and a half old daughter. Maybe you give up some of the glamour and romance for stability, security, and a better life.

I didn't have the answers for my young charges. But the one thing I did take away from the discussion is that if you have love in your life, whether its the forever kind, or the "just this moment" kind; whether its the fireworks and flowers kind, or the "dinner is on and the laundry is done" kind, it can't be all bad. And you probably shouldn't over analyze it.

In Portuguese, its "Eu amo voce" . . . in whatever language, may you all have, or find, someone to say "I love you."

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife


Betty said...

And thank you for the reminder.

BamBam said...

From the complete other side of the spectrum.....

I knew instantly and I hadn't even met her. A smile at something funny, a pride that showed in her gate, a confidence that could be felt through 1/4" plate glass.

I knew in that instant and I know more and more each day.

Love is a word. What's important is the feeling, the emotion and the sensual desire that drives your soul. The sensualness that is love is what really matters. Create love with the situation you're provided.

Fortunate souls get the priviledge of extending that feeling for a lifetime.

Intelligent souls know how to make it work for a lifetime.

I'm just a man. I'd like nothing better than for Betty to want to "lick" me. I'd love to be on "the list" as someone with their shoes under your bed.

But in reality, I would never in a million years give up what I have with my Peb's.

Love is what it is. One hell of a lot more powerful thing than any of us mere mortals. I personally prefer to thank the powers that be, that I am one of the fortunate ones.

Honestly & respectfully replied....

RaisingCayne said...

Oh, puke!

If in the poker game of life, women are the rake... then love is having the fucking bring-in.

Hum bug. It's overrated.

The Sister said...

That is very sweet. And the writing in the snow is better than most of the handwritting I have seen. I would share with you how to say 'I love you' in Hongul, which is the language here on the ROK, but I don't know how. I didn't ask. I asked how to say 'hello' when I first got here but its 12 syllables long. I gave up.