Friday, January 11, 2008

Conversation WIth My Father-In-Law - Parenting Advice

I have a great relationship with my father-in-law. We discuss many subjects, parenting being one of them. I frequently get advice. I sometimes take it. Today's conversation left me shaking my head and thinking . . . . MEN!

(The lead-in is a discussion about my 10-year old son's fascination with Jenna Jameson, adult film star and current girlfriend of UFC's own Tito Ortiz. This conversation has been edited for length and emphasis.)

The Wife: On of these days, he's gonna Google her and find out that she's not just Tito Ortiz's girlfirend.

DadChako: (Profoundly) Yup.

The Wife: I guess this porn thing with boys is inevitable, huh? They're all gonna find it eventually.

DadChako: (Profoundly) Yup.

The Wife: Maybe I should start subscribing to the Victoria's Secret Catalog so he has something to steal. I could tolerate that.

DadChako: Well, that's really just the munchies before the full meal . . .

Did my father-in-law just say that to me in a conversation? "Munchies"?

I think I need to go wash my brain thoroughly to get that out of my head.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife


Betty said...

Another well timed laugh!!!

BamBam said...

Oh come on !

Had it been a woman, she probably would have said 'foreplay.'

What's the diff?

Munchies..... I like it !

Hey Peb's..... Peb's hun... Ooooooooooohh Pebbles....

Your Bam-Bam's got the munchies !

RaisingCayne said...

That's a funny conversation.

And yes, he's correct that a VS catalog just wouldn't suffice. Boys find a way to find real porn prior to turning 13. It's inevitable. Sorry. And considering your son's already aware of Jenna... I'd set the over/under for his discovery by his 11th birthday. ...

... Don't shoot the messenger.

Hunter said...

"Munchies before the real meal." My first taste of the munchies came when I was 11 years old. There was an old country gas station in the little mountain town of my youth. Once I was asked to get something out of the back room. The only light in that over-sized closet came from a small overhead skylight. Meager as it was, it shone just enough light for me to catch a glimpse of a calendar hanging on the wall. The calendar sported a photograph of a young Marilyn Monroe, in the buff, and posing on a bearskin rug. I was mesmerized. It wasn't until several days later that I realized I had experienced my first munchie.

My own children, including the now fully grown Dr. Chako, experienced his first munchie when Barbara Eden of "I Dream of Jeannie" fame, danced provocatively across the television screen in a see-through outfit made of nothing more than gossamer and smoke. That was quickly followed by Linda What's-her-name... you know... the one who played Wonder Woman. Between her short shorts that revealed the longest and most curvacious legs in the history of TV, along with breasts as unrelanting as a pair of horizontal telephone pole that were sticking out a country mile, one could readily agree that Dr. Chako's munchies were far more provocative than mine.

Now, the son of Dr. Chako is taking it one step further. Well, maybe two steps. No matter. The fact is, that despite having reached the tender age of only 10 years, his munchies have zoomed past the relatively tame experiences of both his father and grandfather. His munchies are steeped in the likes of Jenna Jameson, who is probably the hottest Porn Star in the nation. Phenomenally alluring, Jenna makes Paris Hilton look like a novice Nun in an Amish convent.

With munchies like that, the delectibility of a real meal can only be imagined.

Hunter Silvastorm

Anonymous said...

Well now you know what to get your son for his birthday.

Drizztdj said...

Munchies I thought was a pot reference.

But, I wouldn't anything about that. Porn on the other hand...

Anonymous said...