Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Lighter Side of Language . . .

After such a heavy post the other day (including my indirect rant against the prissy "Bachelorettes"), I figured today you could use something lighter. So, courtesy of my dear sister-in-law, I give you a few twisted definitions (clever author unknown):
  1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
  3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  4. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  6. Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
  7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  10. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
  11. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  12. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
  13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  14. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
  15. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,that gets in to your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

You're welcome to submit any of your own creation for my amusement.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

1 comment:

RaisingCayne said...

Mrs. Chako,
Just recently came across your husband's blog... and consequently yours. Didn't think there was any chance of other blogs coming from our lil Federal Way! Small world I suppose.

I've really enjoyed reading about your husband's experiences in the desert, and getting to see your perspective too.

Good luck with managing everything (including your anxiety) while you await his return.

God bless,