- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
- Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
- Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,that gets in to your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
You're welcome to submit any of your own creation for my amusement.