Tonight I was reminiscing with an old high school chum. Well, I thought chum. Apparently he had a big enough crush on me back then to have stayed in certain after school activities for two years just because I did them. Oh yeah, apparently I was that good. Valedictorians so totally rock. (Hey, some high school guys dig brainy, skinny, naive girls.)
Funny thing is I remember staying up late on school trips and talking into the wee hours of the night with him - he was a great friend. Apparently, on one of the trips, I sat on his lap for two hours talking. Nothing more, nothing less, but to the hormonally imbalanced teenage boy, that must have been torture. I simply remember it as that warm, fuzzy chat with a friend. But then again, I didn't have enough experience to know any different.
Maybe I wasn't good at reading signals. Back then, I was pretty naive . . . and he was two years older.
If I knew today what I knew then, would I have reacted differently? Would I have perceived it differently? Or even if I did, would it have mattered? Would it be cool to have a "Way Back Machine" to go back to that point in time, with all the knowledge and experience you have now, and relive it? Or guide your younger self?
We laughed about it, knowing it probably all falls into place the way it should. He's a cool guy, but so is my husband, without whom I would not have these two beautiful boys, who are cooler than either of us, combined.
I'm a pretty logical person. Really, I am. Forget all that kissing nonsense last week - I was really just building my immunity, people. That's logical.
But as I get older, especially recently, enough things happen at just the right moment, in just the right order, at just the right space in time to make me believe fate, or something like it, might have a bigger role in the way hands play out than this logical girl can account for. And I don't know that I want to fight that, given that I like how things have been turning out . . .
So if you build a "Way Back Machine", maybe don't let me know.
But for the record, he did tell me that if he had a "Do Over" in life, it would be me. I thought that was kind of sweet.