Sunday, December 7, 2008

Sorry Charlie . . .

Charlie is my back-up massage therapist.

Tom is my main guy, primarily because he still gives me 2 hour massages at a fraction of the price of a one hour. But in the in-betweens, I have Charlie on reserve. Tom has limited times where he can give massages because he has a real job; Charlie is a full-time massage therapist.

He's kind of a human Ken doll. Not the kind I find attractive, but asthetically, he's good. Blond hair cut short, blue eyes, chiseled jaw, broad shoulders, 6'2" . . . and he's uber-professional so he always speaks pleasantly and is well-mannered . . . you get the picture.

He's a very good massage therapist. Perfect blend of strength and finesse. Very professional, so I'm always very relaxed. He talks very softly to you as well, so as not to startle you out of your oxytocin-induced reverie.

Today, when he finished, though, I realized he's really just my mother wrapped in a pretty package. It started innocently enough . . .

  • C: (Lays hand gently on my shoulder) "How do you feel, Mrs. Chako?"
  • Me: (Sighing) "Very relaxed, Charlie."
  • C: (Strokes my hair) "Good."
  • Me: (Purring) "Mmmmm . . . "
  • C: You know, your right shoulder is pulling up. You're not doing those stretching exercises I showed you . . . I'm going to need you to stretch. And I want to talk to you about your hydration levels . . . you need to drink more water. Avoid caffeine around the holidays. Make sure you finish that bottle I gave you . . . "
  • Me: (Hangs head) "Yes Charlie . . . "
  • C: "I'm going to want to see you before Christmas, or that shoulder is going to give you trouble. You can't go . . . what . . . A MONTH AND A HALF . . . since the last time I saw you and not have problems, Mrs. Chako."
  • Me: (Head down) "Yes Charlie . . . "
  • C: "You make sure you schedule well in advance - those weeks before Christmas fill up. I don't want to see your shoulders in this state again . . . "
  • Me: (Tail between my legs) "Sorry Charlie . . . "

Thank God he doesn't actually have my mother's voice, or it would KILL the action.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife


MHG said...

I'll admit to thinking this story was going in a different direction...

BadBlood said...

I had a regular male therapist back in Massachusetts who would say the same things about my glutes.

Not sure why he gave me 1:30 massages for the price of 1:00.

PrinceofHouston said...

Hey TheWife,
Sorry about your Packers yesterday. My Texans needed the win more than the Packers. If it is any consolation, Aaron Rogers throws one of the prettiest deep balls I have ever seen.
On massage therapy, it is always a good visit when they tell you to get dressed, and you can't move. You ask them to fold you up in a drawer and come get me later.