Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Madame Chako's Guide to the Stars . . . Again

It's been a whole month since I bestowed my divinely inspired spiritual guidance upon you. I know you've all been wandering around aimlessly without my wisdom to guide you. Wander no more. Or at least have an aim to your wandering.

GENERAL: Do your taxes (if, say, you didn't file them last month). Take pictures of flowers. Buy someone flowers. Water your flowers. Watch out for errant bunnies.
  • Aries: You will be rewarded for your good deeds. Just maybe not with the sexual favors you were expecting. Prepare for a journey. Take earplugs.
  • Taurus: A recent windfall has you riding high. Don't spend it all in one place. Others want their share of the pie. Save it for a rainy day. Or a new place.
  • Gemini: Loved ones will with you soon. Enjoy occasions that bring your friends and family close. Your heart deserves a rest.
  • Cancer: The week ahead brings long-awaited surprises. Patience is a virtue. Unwrap your gift slowly. Savor it. Moments are fleeting - make the most of it.
  • Leo: Dust off your skirt, and save your pocket change. People are anxious to see you again. Remember how much fun it can be to herd cats.
  • Virgo: You reach one goal, you fall short of another. Don't worry, you've got plenty of time ahead of you to set new ones. Listen to your mother.
  • Libra: You will be able to turn on the charm soon. You get more flies with honey than w(h)ine. Shine up your dancing shoes.
  • Scorpio: You are still working too much. But you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thank your significant other for all that they do. The next month is one of contemplation and reflection without undue influences. Use the silence to contemplate the future. Renew old connections. And remember . . . set them free.
  • Sagittarius: The break you needed is in front of you. Let it restore you and give you strength. Let some things go. Keep others close.
  • Capricorn: Tolerance is your virtue. Friends will return to you and your patience will be rewarded. You are loved.
  • Aquarius: Far away friends miss you and think of you often. Reach out and they may be there. Willing and ready to share. You are still on the "nice" list.
  • Pisces: All things in their season. This is your summer - let the warmth soak in your skin and reflect around you. And off your sparkly shoes. Listen. Enjoy.

PS: No bunnies were harmed in the making of this horoscope.

Respectfully submitted,

Madame Chako

8 comments:

BamBam said...

One has to ponder....

If I'm not getting the sexual favours I'm expecting.

What the hell do I need the earplugs for ???

(((((HUGS)))))

SirFWALGMan said...

I AM PISCES! WSOP IS SUMMER! IT IS A DONE DEAL! I AM GOING TO WIN THE ME! WOOOOOOOT!

I am a little excitable.

Unknown said...

Yeah, as a fellow Aries to bam bam, we are wondering about the earplugs...

Is my ex-wife coming to town?

BWoP said...

Wait, I'm a Pisces too.

And I'm moving to Vegas this summer . . .

I AM GOING TO WIN THE ME!

(Sorry Waffles.)

DrChako said...

As the Alpha Aries, I also have to ponder...

What the hell am I doing all these favor?!

-The Husband

April said...

Hmm... mine's pretty darn accurate I do say. Thanks Madame Chako!

Anonymous said...

I was actually writing a check the IRS, grumbling and pissing the whole time. "Others" want their share of the pie. Rat bastards. "My name is Elmer J. Fudd. Millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht" - Elmer J. Fudd

Joe (aka Unimpressed) said...

Aries: You will be rewarded for your good deeds. Just maybe not with the sexual favors you were expecting...

FUCK!