Dear Santa . . .

Much like attending an interesting play with live actors in a theater, I am going to suspend my disbelief for a while and call upon your good nature and apparently magical abilities to fulfill wishes at this time of the year. I realize you may have hesitation around fulfilling my wishes for some very obvious reasons, but hear me out:

1. Yes, we are currently celebrating Hanukkah and there may be some social stigma against double-dipping when it comes to major religious holidays. However, I would hope that you will be lenient, given the secular nature of your character, and consider the benefits of spreading holiday goodwill toward all, even those of us lighting candles as we speak
2. I realize you have that whole "naughty-nice" thing, and I am hoping you will take a broad view and consider the "spectrum" of things "naughty". Clearly, in the "spectrum" of things naughty, my faults and foibles rank well below things like, say, bank robbery, mass-murder, corporate embezzlement, or world terrorism. And the only thing I've coveted lately is someone's shoes.
3. I know I was the kid who went around telling other kids that Santa didn't exist, it was really their parents buying gifts. But you know how kids are - who didn't try to challenge the status quo in their youth?

With that in mind, Santa, here is a brief list of my holiday wishes this year:

• A sufficient amount of hugs and smooches in the very near future from some of the people I love the most and see the least: Otis, Drizz, Kat, CK, Falstaff, F-Train, BadBlood, Oh Captain, Dr. Jeff, . . . did I mention Otis? Please remember this has to last me for a long time . . . maybe even another whole year. Make them good. Hard. Long.
• A hug from Iggy, and multiple touches of his hair. Make sure he wears it down at least once.
• Time to see all of my other IIF (can they still be IIF if I know them by face and name and have seen them at least once?) like Waffles and TX April and Pauly and Change and Al and Gracie and Pablo and Luckbox and . . . OMG . . . list is too long . . . you know who I'm talking about.
• Extra time with my Bay Area friends . . . Betty and CA April and Bayne.
• For my Friday conference call to fly by . . . who has 4 pm conference calls on Friday anyway?
• For my husband to lose himself in the fun, the games, the friends, and the love without completing losing the contents of his wallet.
• Kissably fresh breath and the opportunity to have it be noticed.
• For a perfect balance between having enough to drink so as not to be the only responsible one in the bunch, but not so much so as to become the female Spotis.
• Enough pictures to remember the people and the fun; few enough pictures of some parts of the fun such that I do not ruin any latent career hopes of becoming a highly-visible elected official or CEO of my company
• Enough stories and laughs and good times to last me until the next time I can see this crazy wonderful bunch of folks again.

I will put out milk and cookies every night for the next 6 nights . . . just make me a happy woman come Thursday!

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife