Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Someone Touch My Husband, Please . . .

Apparently, my husband is feeling neglected.

And rightly so. I mean, I have raved about some non-husbandly touches recently. But these are special cases. These are men either PAID to touch me, and therefore obligated to pretend like they couldn't think of anything better they'd rather be doing, or they are men doing it for free with the expectation of reciprocity. Because we sucked at that round of poker. Its a consolation prize.

And I am working 14, 15 hours a day. I come home from the office after everyone is in bed more than I do while they are still awake. So not so much touching going on.

I've had migraines for the past few days. Which means that I go to bed medicated and am not lovey dovey.

And when I want to be touched, I pay for it. Not because he sucks. He's actually very good. And if you ever need an adjustment to some out of whack muscles or vertebrae, he's AWESOME. But I'm demanding. I'd rather pay for my touches, and be able to critique them as a professional, than risk offending the guy I gotta live with every day just 'cause this isn't his day job.

So please remind him that:

(a) He touches very nicely.
(b) We all still love him.

Now, will someone touch my husband, please?

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

PS: Don't do it too hard, he's got sensitive skin.


Katitude said...

*raises her hand.

I've actually taken massage courses with Keith. Honest!

Seriously, I can't believe you even asked that question ;-)

DrChako said...

That's it - I'm moving to Canada!

-The Husband

BamBam said...

I don't touch "Fairies!"

Not that there's anything wrong with that.


SirFWALGMan said...

To think I was thinking how confident the doctor must be to let his wife be groped by all these people.. and now you shatter my visions of the man.. *sigh*.