I realize some of my friends and acquaintances (past and present) are pretty funny, and I look forward to reading Facebook and blogs and emails just to see how funny they can be. Here is my collection of recent faves (to protect the stupid and/or innocent, I have removed names, but you know who you are - if you even read this blog):
He totally gives good text.
I missed the memo that stated it was 'state the blatantly obvious' week.
Hope springs eternal so that it may be crushed repeatedly.
Yeah, but what is she learning on the clutch? . . . Hopefully how to get married so I do not have to pay alimony.
WHOA DUDE . . . this is NOT how you have a covert affair.
I don't care who you invite - just don't let it turn into a goat rodeo.
Today, less penis.
Keep them coming people - my happiness depends on your wit.