If I Won The Lottery . . .

Thanks, IT. Tagged, and proud to respond. Like you, I wouldn't quit my job. But boy, it sure takes some of the pressure off. And interestingly enough, it might earn me a few clients. I mean, if I've got money, I'm sure I become interesting to a whole new group of people who might be willing to buy my friendship with a little business thrown my way. Partnership, here I come.

So here goes.

If I won the lottery (*), I would do these 11 things:

1. Go back to Barcelona, sit on a patio at 2 p.m. looking out at the Mediterranean, drinking pitchers of Sangria, eating fresh paella, and thinking "Holy s**t, am I rich!"
2. Come home and hire Tom full time to be at my beck and call for those two hour massages whenever and where ever I want. I'm sure his wife Ellen doesn't need him at home very much.
3. Host the biggest tear-down party in the world at my parents farm, as we raze their crappy old falling down house and build a new one. Since I'm the rich one, I get to drive the bulldozer through the first wall.
4. Buy my sister and her two kids a small, comfy house, and establish a college fund for her daughter and son. She can handle the rest from there; she's been raising two kids on her own for 14 years, pretty much.
5. Fund a trust for my other niece and nephew for college and some living expenses. My brother needs to figure out how to find his own way to fund a house for him, his wife, and two kids. I just want to make sure they come out on the other end ok, since he's 33 and still living with Mom and Dad. I hate hand-outs to people that haven't proven they can be self-sufficient; I just don't want the kids to suffer.
6. Pay for my sister-in-law's wedding. Congrats, One "L".
7. Back my other sister-in-law for a year in whatever she invests in - I'll double it. You should see this little spitfire beat the market. Whatever she makes is hers to keep.
8. Fund the budget for the Boys and Girls Club in our city for a full year. You should see how hard these locals work to raise money each year and how much they care about kids no one else cares for.
9. Take the whole family to Brazil. After living with and befriending a bazillion Brazilans, I'm convinced we have to go. And the exchange rate for the real is very favorable to the dollar right now. And I'm sure I would look awesome in those little tiny bikinis. And maybe get a wax . . . you know . . . when in Brazil . . .
10. Invest, invest, invest. With a professional advisor. Make sure that all of our college tuitions, retirements, weddings, and future plans are well funded. So I can stop thinking about it. And so that months like this last one are just a blip on the radar.
11. Buy my husband a Ferrari just to shut him up - but with conditions: (a) he actually shuts up about it, (b) I never have to watch him surf the damn Ferrari chat website or luxury watch sites (its the "new" pornography in our house), and (c) he buys a license plate holder that announces "I am compensating . . . "

I'm sure that's enough for now. I won't tag anyone officially, but I do put it out to the masses . . . what would you do?

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

(*) "Lottery" is hereby clarified to be a BIG ASS lottery. Like one of those $300 million dollar ones. None of this pissant $2 million stuff. Do you know how fast you can blow through $2 million? Especially if you take the cash option (which, in my opinion, you totally should . . . you gonna trust the lottery commission to invest your money for you?)? Pshaw.