So here goes.
If I won the lottery (*), I would do these 11 things:
- Go back to Barcelona, sit on a patio at 2 p.m. looking out at the Mediterranean, drinking pitchers of Sangria, eating fresh paella, and thinking "Holy s**t, am I rich!"
- Come home and hire Tom full time to be at my beck and call for those two hour massages whenever and where ever I want. I'm sure his wife Ellen doesn't need him at home very much.
- Host the biggest tear-down party in the world at my parents farm, as we raze their crappy old falling down house and build a new one. Since I'm the rich one, I get to drive the bulldozer through the first wall.
- Buy my sister and her two kids a small, comfy house, and establish a college fund for her daughter and son. She can handle the rest from there; she's been raising two kids on her own for 14 years, pretty much.
- Fund a trust for my other niece and nephew for college and some living expenses. My brother needs to figure out how to find his own way to fund a house for him, his wife, and two kids. I just want to make sure they come out on the other end ok, since he's 33 and still living with Mom and Dad. I hate hand-outs to people that haven't proven they can be self-sufficient; I just don't want the kids to suffer.
- Pay for my sister-in-law's wedding. Congrats, One "L".
- Back my other sister-in-law for a year in whatever she invests in - I'll double it. You should see this little spitfire beat the market. Whatever she makes is hers to keep.
- Fund the budget for the Boys and Girls Club in our city for a full year. You should see how hard these locals work to raise money each year and how much they care about kids no one else cares for.
- Take the whole family to Brazil. After living with and befriending a bazillion Brazilans, I'm convinced we have to go. And the exchange rate for the real is very favorable to the dollar right now. And I'm sure I would look awesome in those little tiny bikinis. And maybe get a wax . . . you know . . . when in Brazil . . .
- Invest, invest, invest. With a professional advisor. Make sure that all of our college tuitions, retirements, weddings, and future plans are well funded. So I can stop thinking about it. And so that months like this last one are just a blip on the radar.
- Buy my husband a Ferrari just to shut him up - but with conditions: (a) he actually shuts up about it, (b) I never have to watch him surf the damn Ferrari chat website or luxury watch sites (its the "new" pornography in our house), and (c) he buys a license plate holder that announces "I am compensating . . . "
I'm sure that's enough for now. I won't tag anyone officially, but I do put it out to the masses . . . what would you do?
(*) "Lottery" is hereby clarified to be a BIG ASS lottery. Like one of those $300 million dollar ones. None of this pissant $2 million stuff. Do you know how fast you can blow through $2 million? Especially if you take the cash option (which, in my opinion, you totally should . . . you gonna trust the lottery commission to invest your money for you?)? Pshaw.