Friday, April 11, 2008

Madame Chako's Guide to the Stars . . .

And now, your personalized astrology guide for the week ahead, courtesy of Madame Chako . . . wife, mother, accountant, and divinely-inspired spiritual guide.

GENERAL: Do your taxes. Say bad things about the government. But don't cheat the government. Go out and smell the flowers. Clean out your closets. Come out of the closet. Wear cute shoes. Do something nice for a friend. Like wash their new Lexus.
  • Aries: You will leave responsibility far behind and feel free for a few days. The illusion is only temporary. Your responsibilities await you, with some extra thrown in. Guard your bankroll; she's only in it for the money. Buy your wife something nice.
  • Taurus: They don't call you the bull for nothing. You will be rewarded for your persistence and for taking life's administrative burdens by the horns. Keep your phone close; someone special may call.
  • Gemini: Your heart is heavy, but those who love you will share your heart's burden. Show the world your happy face; the prayers of friends will tend to the sad face on the inside.
  • Cancer: Share your fairy-tale thoughts with that someone special. Whether they can act on them now or not, you might find you are more like-minded than you imagined. Don't forget that you are powerful.
  • Leo: I don't have a read on you. I don't know many Leo's at all. But I think lions are pretty. Pretty kitty . . .
  • Virgo: This is a time of self-reflection. Quite introspection. And time to clean your room. Stop picking on your little brother. Listen to your mother this week.
  • Libra: Your sweet-nature and easy smile wins people over quickly. But don't push your luck. Or someone may lose patience quickly. Don't forget to tell your mother you love her. Or that you love her 40. Or maybe 80. 80 is bigger.
  • Scorpio: You never cease to amaze people. Although you are probably working too hard. But you look fabulous. And you have amazing taste in shoes. No news is good news. You have the power to make people feel whatever you want them to feel. Finish your taxes. Don't nag your spouse. Except about getting the taxes done.
  • Sagittarius: You have the power to draw people in. Don't forget that power can also push them away, if you take it for granted. Let your voice be heard. It only takes a few words. The key is to relax. Seek contentment.
  • Capricorn: Must suck to be you . . . birthday right around the holidays and the new year . . . do you get any attention? Get some now. You're due.
  • Aquarius: The energy, the intensity . . . you possess this now. Take advantage. Reconnect. You may be surprised. Engage a friend in some dialogue. They might have a few good points to share.
  • Pisces: You have come into your own this past week - move forward with purpose. Take your friends with you on this ride. They will appreciate your steadfastness, honesty, and good advice, even when it stings. Buy more shoes.

You can thank me later for this good advice.

Respectfully submitted,

Madame Chako (astro-visionary)


The Sister said...

Great horoscope! I will keep my phone close in the hopes that the next time it rings and I pick it up, Kevin Costner will be on the line...

DrChako said...

Awesome post on so many levels.

-The Husband

Betty said...

Pisces should buy more shoes?Shoe shopping is so out of character fo me but I know better than to mess with the stars so okay!

Instant Tragedy said...

I'm Aries, but I don't have a wife.

OH NO, I don't want mess mu Karma up!

Falstaff said...

Leos rule! That's all you really need to know about us :).