Two Chicks on a Ranch

Yellowstone was amazing. Thought it really couldn't get much better.

Never say never. I said that more than once this trip. Never say never.

After a solid night of sleep and a belly full of food, we got up early (read, Wife early, not Betty early), packed up the Prius, and headed to see more Montana. This was one day where we actually had a date with a couple studs . . .

Sorry, wrong studs . . .

We headed up to Ennis, Montana . . . where time forgot to move forward at the same pace the rest of the country moved.

After a photo journey down the street (yes, THE street . . . the ONLY street), we jumped in the car and made a loop back down through the Gallatin National Forest, past herds of pronghorns grazing in the meadows, past Quake Lake (there's a story, if you have time to stop and read), past other resort towns like Kirkwood with signs that say "Paradise has a 15 mph speed limit". . . and on our way to the 320 Guest Ranch.

Fortunately, between our good planning, Betty's penchant for speed when we're not following a pilot car through road construction, and our general touring efficiency, we had a little extra time. Good thing. My sharply-honed animal spotting skills got us our next best photo op. After convincing Betty that dark brown things without horns might be something other than female elk, we got our first sighting of a bear in the wild. . . . Way.

We were giddy with our good fortune when we pulled into the 320 ranch. We had plenty of time to check in. Unpack. Pop open a little bubbly before our scheduled engagement. Enjoy the mountain air and the sunshine. Discuss the hot desk clerk.

We walked over to the barns, signed the "its not our fault if you die" waiver, and got saddled up for a trail ride. Having not been on a horse for over 20 years, I was really pleased with how easily I remember how to ride. Of course, the fact that my mount, Duke, had done this 3 times a day every day for the last . . . however long . . . didn't hurt. It was a beautiful ride through beautiful countryside, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Despite the slight bruising on my ass where my ischial tuburcles and the saddle did battle, I wished we had chosen a longer ride.

But where the vacation gods close one door, they open another. We returned to the ranch, cleaned up a bit, and headed to the saloon. For a ranch out in the middle of nowhere, the folks really knew how to treat us. Steve brought us a healthy dose of some fine California Cabernet to whet our whistles while we waited for our dinner reservation. Dinner was amazing, and it didn't hurt that our waiter was easy on the eyes and a sweetheart to boot. He was married, but he still found a couple opportunities to give Betty a gratuitous touch on the shoulder.

We were one of the last tables in the restaurant, sharing conversation with the rest of the guests. Betty and I expressed our dismay that there was no bonfire. DK, another one of the waiters/ranch help couldn't bear our disappointment; a couple giant logs and some lighter fluid later, we had a toasty beautiful bonfire.

Talk about making me hot. The bonfire of course . . .

Betty decided after a day on the horse that a hot bath was in order. I know this is the part where some of you are hoping I'm going to say I joined her . . . but we don't roll that way. I let her relax while I joined the last few stragglers out by the fire, and then moved into the saloon where the rest of the party was. The names are a bit of a blur, but I found myself at home among this motley but friendly crew, learning all sorts of interesting tidbits about the ranch. When the saloon action wound down, I was invited to join some folks in some of the local Big Sky establishments where I got to hang with the locals. We closed it down pretty late, and made friends with the highway workers on the way back that evening. DK wins points for being a great chauffeur and responsible driver, despite the liberal open container laws in Montana.

When the sun came up and we packed the Prius again, I wished we had one more day. The guy at the front desk tried to cut us a deal, but the plans were already in motion. We said our goodbyes and headed west.

The ranch was our last "official" tour stop . . . the rest of the trip was a casual stop in Missoula to see some friends of Betty's, and we eventually parted ways over the weekend while she spent another few days with her pals.

I couldn't have asked for a better road trip/chick trip/adventure. Had a great traveling companion. The Prius sipped gas like the precious resource it is. Our packing skills were finely honed. We covered nearly 2,000 miles together and except for the beastly drive through Nevada, would do it all again.

I hear that Big Sky has a rodeo around July 4th next year . . . I know where I could get us some drinks and a dinner comped . . .

Road trip!

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife