Thursday, August 20, 2009

Free Mrs Chako's Inner Blogger

Please, I beg you. Talk to this woman.

I'm trapped in here. Every day - fine-tuning blog posts on life's little mysteries, the general quirkiness of people, or her latest shoe fetish.

Problem is, Mrs. Chako isn't letting her inner blogger out. You got it - me, trapped in here like a hamster trapped in one of those little plastic balls - I can see out, but I can't get anywhere past the plastic - running in circles. Or like the boy in the bubble - watching all the other kids play on the blogground, while I sit in my hypoallergenic chamber and sigh.

She's always got some excuse that ends with "I'm tired."

"We just closed the books on one of the top 10 companies in the world - I'm tired."

"I just unloaded and put away 400+ boxes and items from the move - I'm tired."

"I worked on our press release and audit committee presentation until midnight and had a conference call with tax at 1 a.m. - I'm tired."

"I haven't had a massage, a manicure and pedicure, or set foot in a DSW in a month - I'm tired."

"I'm behind in reading everyone's blog and I'm trying to catch up - I'm tired."

Vice-presidents. Sheesh.

Anyhoo . . . hope one of you can talk some sense into her. Doesn't someone want to hear about the treasures she's found moving? Or her new found fear of 7th grade girls? Or about the one box the movers refused to unpack and what was in it? Or her attempt to teach Betty how to use the Chako children to pick up eligible single dads? Or how she can't wait to go to Vegas and watch Steel Panther with her favorite pals?

If the words keep piling up, she's gonna suffocate me.

Get on her case - oh, and tell her to get a pedicure. Her toenails look like shit.

Thanks, all!

The Wife's Inner Blogger


KenP said...

Seems the joint creates "Tough Choices" don't it...

Seems awfully simple to me. You love to schedule. Schedule some fun. (Why'd she hit me?)

Of course you should also buy yourself something expensive. We've taken a vote and Ferrari came out on top.

Betty Underground said...

Oh, that reminds me, can I borrow your dog? Thinking me in all my hot sexiness at a dog park could be a great way to pick-up men. I also heard when you have a man you attract men, so can I also borrow your husband. Oh, and your car. No reason on the car really except it's red and will attract policeMEN if I drive it fast.

SirFWALGMan said...

I think Dog is better than kids for picking up single guys. Kids tend to make guys run for the hills.

We will always be here for when your available to let out your creativity and write stuff. Sort of like stalkers outside your window.. waiting..

I am so creepy.

The Sister of DrChako and Mrs. Chako said...

I want in on the next Vegas trip.

BamBam said...

Listen here sister-in-blog, get your shit together and do it NOW!

It's systematical and you above all others, know that all too well. Get the nails done. No excuses accepted and no price is too much.

Now that the nails do not look like shit, the next step is feeling better about yourself OH wait! The nails look really good! There, you feel better already don't you?

Consider your fine little VP butt kicked, when it would've been much better to have kissed it!

(wow that's tough to do! Even for a friend you love so much!)


Sean D said...

Sounds like Jayne needs to make an appearance again.

Remember her?

She popped in before and made you relax and get your shoes in gear.

I'd take care of her, before she takes over you again.

Drizztdj said...

When something hits you and you're not able to fire up the internet, write it down and collect notes till you can.

Then get back to pouting about your football team getting beat this year by Sage Rosenfels or some other guy we overspent on.

pokerpeaker said...

I don't know if you are asking for a little tough love, but it sounds like it.

So get your lazy ass in gear and start writing, goddammit, and quit whining about how you're "tired." Please. I know tired. You're not tired.

Um....does that help? I hope you don't hate me now. Annoyed is OK.

BWoP said...

No smooches 'til the blogger returns.

The end.

OhCaptain said...

Tips from a blogger that's never fallen behind or missed posting or participating in something cause he was busier then a VP at a fortune 500 company:

User Evernote. It can be found at Probably the greatest tool ever.

Get a fancy phone and set up your blog to post your emails from said fancy phone. Got an idea while sitting in a high profile meeting? Send it to your blog and WHAMMO! It's up.

Trust a guy that's never missed a post...or not finished a recap...or has about 100 unpublished posts sitting in his blogger account waiting to be given some love...