I know you're all hanging around in suspense, so I'll just get to the good part.
My ass is slowly recovering, even without multiple smooches from my blogger brethren (sistren?). Limited bruising, some referred pain to my sciatic nerve and shoulders, but it could have been a lot worse. Think my ego was wounded worse than my physical being.
I appreciated the offers for help. Was a little sad, to tell you the truth, that Waffles didn't jump on that one. Trying to not take it personally (I couldn't be losing my touch!), and assuming something really important must have come up.
You may return to your regularly scheduled programming.