Milk . . . It Does a Body Good . . . Sometimes

If Peaker wasn't such a curmudgeon, I'd have a whole host of things to talk about.

But I respect him, so we'll skip the economy and the octuplets today. Oh, and I don't watch Idol or the Bachelor (and so we find out Jason is a little bit of a dog . . . and this surprises us . . . why?). And I don't know squat about the future of newspapers.

So let's talk breasts.

Specifically, in their application as lunch.

Let me preface:

I'm a fan of breastfeeding. Did it for both my kids. Great bonding. Free. Nutritious. Good for development. Smarts. Immunity. It's sanitary. Once you get the hang of it, convenient. No buying formula. No buying bottles. No washing bottles. And bottles. And bottles. Always ready. Always perfect temperature and consistency. And let's be honest. It's the way our bodies were constructed. We are MAMMALS.

But lately the focus in the news has been on a few outliers, or our interpretation of the outliers, and it never ceases to amaze me how weird humans are.

• So there is the lady who gets pulled over for driving, talking on the cell phone and nursing her baby while driving. She was offended and wanted to turn it into some rant against breast feeding in public. I don't care if you breastfeed in public. But for crying out loud, lady, you are behind the wheel of a few thousand pounds of moving death. You are not that good of a multi-tasker. Have a little respect and pull over. That goes for the cell phone too, if you can't put it on hands free.
• Then there is the story of Selma Hyek nursing another baby in Africa. Jeez people. Its a hungry, sad baby. Mother can't feed it. Happens all the time in nature . . . and we used to have wet nurses who's sole job it was to feed other babies. Its no weirder than Brittany kissing Madonna or Marilyn Manson wearing more makeup than his girlfriend. Get over it.
• The lady who is still nursing her 7 or 8 year old. It's comforting. Well that's nice. Way to encourage your child to find other ways to self-comfort. Or to find comfort in things that the rest of us do, like maybe a hug. 'Cause its good for our development to not progress beyond things that were comforting as an infant. I grew up on a farm. Animals know their stuff. Get in, get out, get fed, grow up, be done. You don't see lone young heifers wandering around the pasture trying to cop a little sip from their moms. Once calf #2 comes along, calf #1 is drinking WATER! Just like every other mammal. Get on the program.
• And everyone else, stop making it about some weird sex thing. We've made breasts sexual, when to babies, they really are just functional pieces of equipment. I don't think she's engaging in some weird form of child abuse that has some sexual undertone. They are just boobs. Its natural. Maybe not when you're 8, though.

Maybe I'm lucky - when I wanted to nurse, I did, and could. When I started thinking it was time to stop, both of my kids decided that there were more interesting things to see and do than lay around attached to me, and stopped on their own. So I was done before it could even remotely be considered weird.

Oh well . . . I guess if we didn't have stories about weird people to amuse and confound us, how would we ever feel superior to anyone?

I gotta run think of a new topic . . . Peaker is probably adding breastfeeding to his list of things he doesn't want to hear about.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife