Sunday, January 11, 2009

Of Vindication and Adult Erotic Accessories

Ok, its really just a post about poker.

So I took a small mental pause to play one of my favorite play money games - the fine 45 person NLHE SNG. I end up in the last two tables with a big mouth who got mad because I took to long on one hand (potty break). He took to calling me "Mrs. Dildo". I know. Real original.

Kept at it though. I might have had a couple witty responses here or there, the wittiest being "Did I just end up in a 6th grade class room with a bunch of little boys who just learned the word "dildo?" He kept it up. Taunted other players. Even pulled one of those "That's what your mother says" things that guys seem to find so offensive to one of the other players. Who was a chick. Moron.

Then one of the other players types "Moderator". Couple minutes later, Moderator 94 comes on. Reminds all players that constant verbal abuse of another player is inappropriate. Blah, blah, blah. I thanked the moderator. My opponent says "Just kidding moderator. But Mrs. Dildo is playing too slow."

Fast forward to the final table. I go in with middle stack. He chips up a little later and is nearly the chip leader. I wait him out. Chip up. Now I'm the leader. We're down to three. Player three gets knocked out when he went in with his pocket fours against the dildo-sayer who had an AJ offsuit and caught the J.

Now we're heads up, only he has a monster stack . . . nearly 2-1 against me. He kept up the taunting. I just played my cards. Slow played him a couple times. He got tired and lazy and stupid. I finally hit an ace on the flop, but he is first to bet and bets out. I raise him, and he goes all in.

Turns over 10-7. Paired his 10. I'm ahead with the pair of aces. Turn comes an ace, river comes a 10. Full houses all around, but last time I checked, my aces full beats his 10s full.

In the chat box I saw a "gg" . . . couldn't believe he was being gracious. Then I realize it was the player from third place who'd been watching to make sure he got annihilated.

Glad I made someone's day.

The extra play money doesn't hurt either. After starting out with 5,000 play money chips last year when the Dr. was deployed, I have over 97,000 play chips.

I know they are play chips. But its about the discipline, not the money.

Discipline, baby. Oh, and having morons taunt you and call you "dildo" for your play money chips.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

2 comments:

Ken Prevo said...

Guy should get hold of one of your regular readers if he wants a custom insult that sticks a knife in:

THE WIFE WEARS ARMY BOOTS!

Instant Tragedy said...

What's his screen name?

Might be a good taunting opportunity, especially while I'm drugged up!