Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Heaven Protects Fools and Children

Or maybe its fools and drunks. Or fools and children and drunks. I can't find the original quote. It could be urban legend, for all I know.

Regardless, I know I am not drunk. And I know I am not a child. Ergo, I must be a fool.

I'm a smart woman. Valedictorian in high school. Two college degrees. Graduated summa cum laude. Invited to join MENSA.

Today, I almost made a $50,000 mistake. I say almost. I made the mistake. I just didn't suffer the $50,000 consequences. It was a true blond moment. And I'm a natural brunette. I can prove it.

I had a last minute change in schedule. I was rushing this morning. Traffic was bad. I had to fill in at a meeting for someone. I pulled into the parking spot with only one minute to spare. At that moment, my husband called. I was talking with him, gathering my things, paying for parking, and watching the clock tick away. I rushed to the meeting, breathless. Sat through an hour presentation. Shook hands, chatted with the client, and left to get into my car and head into the office.

As I approached my car, I thought "That's odd - the headlights are on. I was sure they were set to 'auto'." Then, as I walked up and touched the door handle, it opened with ease. "Hmmm," I thought. "I left it unlocked." As I swung open the door and slipped into the seat, I realized the car was warm and the radio was on.

At this point, I think I threw up in my mouth, a little. I realized I had left my brand new Lexus unlocked and running for AN HOUR on a downtown street.

Change in routine. Keyless ignition. Quietest engine in the world. I know - a hundred reasons why it happened. But these things just don't happen to me.

It's safe in the parking garage now. Locked. Double-checked. Ignition off. And I'm only out the $10 in gas it wasted idling. Oh, and I might have just screwed my great-grandchildren out of some precious resources by the additional hole I chopped in the ozone with the unnecessary emissions and all . . .

I know it's only a piece of property. I'm just glad someone or something protected me from my own stupidity and carelessness - I owe karma one today.


On a side note, I had an interesting anonymous comment on an old post from February.

"I think friday would be the perfect date. I think it would be fun for us. Better to practice more."

Hmmm. Maybe I arranged a hook up for the trip to Vegas this weekend and forgot. Told my anonymous lover to confirm with me by leaving me a cryptic anonymous comment on an old blog where my husband couldn't find it. I'm pysched. Don't know who or what I'm psyched for, but I'm psyched. I'm sure I can find a NL table to keep DrChako occupied.

Just hope it doesn't cut into my Rhino time. Unless anonymous is buying my drinks and dances.


Respectfully submitted,

The Wife


Betty Underground said...

SWEET CANADIAN MULLET! I often felt like if I had a baby, I would forget it in much the same way. Running. Running. Distracted. "OH crap, I forgot the baby in the trunk."
That was when I was younger, of course. I am fairly certain the only time I might forget a baby now, is like for a few minutes while I dashed out to pick up a 1/5 of Jack.

BWoP said...


That's what I call running goooooood.

Instant Tragedy said...


Amazing that nothing happened.

You had good Karma on your side.

Keep smiling and have fun in Vegas. Wish I was there!!


RaisingCayne said...

Ha! That's funny. :-)

DrChako said...

It may be funny to you...

-The Husband

The Sister said...

None of the would-be car thieves heard it running either!