Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Heaven Protects Fools and Children

Or maybe its fools and drunks. Or fools and children and drunks. I can't find the original quote. It could be urban legend, for all I know.

Regardless, I know I am not drunk. And I know I am not a child. Ergo, I must be a fool.

I'm a smart woman. Valedictorian in high school. Two college degrees. Graduated summa cum laude. Invited to join MENSA.

Today, I almost made a $50,000 mistake. I say almost. I made the mistake. I just didn't suffer the $50,000 consequences. It was a true blond moment. And I'm a natural brunette. I can prove it.

I had a last minute change in schedule. I was rushing this morning. Traffic was bad. I had to fill in at a meeting for someone. I pulled into the parking spot with only one minute to spare. At that moment, my husband called. I was talking with him, gathering my things, paying for parking, and watching the clock tick away. I rushed to the meeting, breathless. Sat through an hour presentation. Shook hands, chatted with the client, and left to get into my car and head into the office.

As I approached my car, I thought "That's odd - the headlights are on. I was sure they were set to 'auto'." Then, as I walked up and touched the door handle, it opened with ease. "Hmmm," I thought. "I left it unlocked." As I swung open the door and slipped into the seat, I realized the car was warm and the radio was on.

At this point, I think I threw up in my mouth, a little. I realized I had left my brand new Lexus unlocked and running for AN HOUR on a downtown street.

Change in routine. Keyless ignition. Quietest engine in the world. I know - a hundred reasons why it happened. But these things just don't happen to me.

It's safe in the parking garage now. Locked. Double-checked. Ignition off. And I'm only out the $10 in gas it wasted idling. Oh, and I might have just screwed my great-grandchildren out of some precious resources by the additional hole I chopped in the ozone with the unnecessary emissions and all . . .

I know it's only a piece of property. I'm just glad someone or something protected me from my own stupidity and carelessness - I owe karma one today.

*****

On a side note, I had an interesting anonymous comment on an old post from February.

"I think friday would be the perfect date. I think it would be fun for us. Better to practice more."

Hmmm. Maybe I arranged a hook up for the trip to Vegas this weekend and forgot. Told my anonymous lover to confirm with me by leaving me a cryptic anonymous comment on an old blog where my husband couldn't find it. I'm pysched. Don't know who or what I'm psyched for, but I'm psyched. I'm sure I can find a NL table to keep DrChako occupied.

Just hope it doesn't cut into my Rhino time. Unless anonymous is buying my drinks and dances.

*****

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife

6 comments:

Betty Underground said...

SWEET CANADIAN MULLET! I often felt like if I had a baby, I would forget it in much the same way. Running. Running. Distracted. "OH crap, I forgot the baby in the trunk."
That was when I was younger, of course. I am fairly certain the only time I might forget a baby now, is like for a few minutes while I dashed out to pick up a 1/5 of Jack.

BWoP said...

PHEW!!!!!!!!

That's what I call running goooooood.

Instant Tragedy said...

WOW!

Amazing that nothing happened.

You had good Karma on your side.

Keep smiling and have fun in Vegas. Wish I was there!!

IT

RaisingCayne said...

Ha! That's funny. :-)

DrChako said...

It may be funny to you...

-The Husband

The Sister said...

None of the would-be car thieves heard it running either!