Thursday, October 1, 2009

What's a Girl (Cheesehead) To Do?

I'm starting to have angst. I hate when life messes with tradition. See, I kind of have a thing going with this guy. And I think we're comfortable with our thing. You know, that right mix of excitement and anticipation, along with a base line of knowing what to expect. Knowing where you stand with each other.

Except I don't know what to expect anymore. See, they changed the game. Literally. I'm expected to cheer for my team. He's expected to cheer for his. Except for one little thing. Favre.

I try to describe what its like. I imagine it would be like divorcing DrChako, coming to terms with it, moving on in life, and then going to a blogger event two years later and finding out he'd married CK. You want to be a big girl and accept it, but you don't actually want to see it. Right in your face.

DrChako has come to terms. I'll notice he's flipped on a Viking game. "Oh, honey, you should see this pass he just made." I choose not to watch. "Nice," I say, noncommittally. To me, the Vikings are a statistic I now read about in the online sports pages the next morning. I try not to watch the sausage being made.

But it's tradition for Drizz and I to have little side bets on these Viking-Packer match ups. And it was easy before. Loser parades around in some paraphernalia of the other team in a public place for designated time period. For a while there, it was easy, because it was always him losing.

So I started small. A Packer hat. Then a Packer T-shirt. I was ready to have him graduate to a cheesehead, but then the unbelievable happened. I lost.

So it was me. He chose to really mix it up . . . flattering, yet unseemly Vikings t-shirt paired with fuzzy Viking pajama bottoms. I don't know which was more appalling. The Viking apparel in general, or the embarrassment of wearing fuzzy Viking pajama bottoms in a Vegas casino.

So what's the answer now? Now that I'm going to be forced to watch the Packer-Viking MNF game in less than 48 hours?

First is the actual watching of the game itself. Obviously I cheer for my offense. The Packers are a team, not just one man. They never were. But when we're on defense, do I hope for a sack? Or balk at the thought of somebody nailing the guy I watched lead my team to victory after victory before succumbing to the purple? And when the Vikes are on offense, how do I stop myself from admiring his arm? I'm gonna feel dirty, no matter what happens, I think.

And how do Drizz and I settle our bets now? Are the stakes higher, now that my QB is leading his team? Is it enough to say its gotta be a #4 jersey in the wrong color? Could I even find a #4 jersey in green when we beat them? Do we have to cross-dress?

I'm going to leave it up to the blogsphere to help me with suggestions. And head into Monday night with plans to cheer on my boys, regardless of who's on the Minnesota offense.

But don't be surprised if I'm easily confused.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife


KenP said...

In primitive societies, inhabitants often worship fetish items. Or the butter cows at state fair. Their decorative art works only for Gypsies and the color blind.

from: Study of Primitive Society in the Environs of Lambeau and the Roller Dome.

DrChako said...

So... if the Packers win, Drizz wears a cheesehead, and if they lose, I get to marry CK?

I'm easily confused, but I think this is a win win.

-The Husband

Drizztdj said...

Favre jersey? Ok, let's do it.

BWoP said...


The Doc is SO not my type.

The Wife, on the other hand . . .

F-Train said...

Of course, not only is the Doc not CK's type, but she's also not the type to get married. Everyone's worlds can remain solidly intact.