Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Marriage Thoughts

Drizz has a contemplative piece on his marriage today, and it made me ponder too. Fairy tales would have you believe in the prince and the princess and the happily ever after. But the prince and the princess didn't have to deal with mortgages and taxes and sick kids and roof repair and long hours on a job and lost jobs and relocations and other family crises and . . . well, you get the picture. Maybe the true test of marriage isn't how "fairy tale" you are, but how well you weather the daily grind. Tolerance, like love and patience and all that good stuff, is a virtue, too, you know.

* * * * *

That being said, this weekend was sunny, not just in the Seattle area, but in the marriage area as well. With the pressures of my current job dwindling as I approach the end of it, I have more time for the family, and am decidedly less stressed. And it has had positive effects on my relationship with the good Dr. We actually had a date and went to the movies. Held hands. He even put in a well-time playful ass-grab when we were supposed to be doing something else with the family. And last night, when I was sick as a dog, he brought me home a big bouquet of mixed white flowers. I guess he still tolerates me. And tolerance is a virtue.

* * * * *

Last night, in my coughing fits, I tried to finish up the business and personal taxes. This is usually a dangerous area, as it makes me cranky, and its an area of business where DrChako, for all of his advanced degrees, innate intelligence, and mind-numbing command of all things medical, has absolutely NOOOOOOO concept of or interest in. I can safely estimate that half of our marital squabbles usually revolve around the business and/or personal taxes.

My oldest son popped in to say "good night" as the two of us sat there going over some of the last details. Unprovoked, Son #1 said "Doing taxes? Thanks for keeping everything in order, Mom." Then he turned to his dad and said "I hope I marry someone who'll do my taxes for me." It made me feel good on a number of levels. First, because he is a sweet boy for thanking me. Second, because he's maturing and realizing some of the contributions we each make to running a household. And third, because I know that for as much frustration the Dr. has about taxes, in general, and more specifically, me doing his taxes, . . . well, somewhere along the way he's still managed to communicate to our son that what I do for the family (however painful it is for DrChako) is important.

* * * * *

I'm pretty lucky to have a good, thoughtful, patient husband.

Now if only I could get him to understand taxes . . .

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife


DrChako said...

I love you. Never stopped. Plan on loving you forever. If you forget, I'll just love you harder.

-The Husband

PS. For some silly reason, we stopped holding hands. I really missed it.

BamBam said...

Important points to take away from this ;

1) You write awesome when you ponder!

2) Holding hands is good! It helps spread cooties. Not those old nasty cooties that you tried so hard to avoid through your youth. The marriage kind of cooties. The ones where the cooties themselves actually slip into that part of your brain, that forgot how much you enjoyed the simple little things about each other.

3) NEVER ask The Doc to look at my financials with me.

All great points !


Paola said...

oweeeee..... love is in the air!
I'm this couple's #1 fan!

Drizztdj said...

Grabbing ass > Holding hands but both should be done daily :)

Thanks for reading.

As for explaining taxes to a non-spreadsheet/database/purchase journal lover:

"If line 9 is greater then line 11 we get money back from Uncle Sam".

Explaining how you got to line 9 and line 11 may require several bottles of wine and should be avoided.

Except for the wine part.