Poker Bravado

As mentioned in a previous post, I'm an amateur player with a tendency to pinch pennies, so unless we're making a special trip to Vegas or something, and given the recent and ridiculous ban on online poker (yes, I'm adhering to it), I don't spend a lot of money on it. But I like to continue to keep up my skills. My Party Poker account is still open, so I play the free money games. I'be been practicing the 15 minute HellKats.

A few rules apply when playing the free HellKat tourneys, if you want to actually practice any skills.

1. Never play the first hand, even with pocket aces. There are always multiple morons going all-in with whatever is in their hand on the first hand; no matter how many people they take out, you can eventually get their chips in the remaining 14 minutes, 35 seconds.
2. Never play the second hand heads up against the moron who just went in with 9-3 offsuit and won. Chances are, by dumb luck, he'll win again. Save your money.
3. Never play the second hand heads up against the person who just won if what they went in with was a monster pocket pair. They are likely only playing monster hands AGAIN.
4. Someone will always claim they will be the big winner - your goal is to bust them out.

So I was taking a break and playing a free HellKat. Sure enough, we're not even started and some guy, I'll call him DorkBoy1, announces "Big winner. Last game. First place." Now DrChako can attest - I don't generally claim to be the best at anything, but small comments like that bring out the competitor in me. I was already prepared to follow rules 1-3 . . . but after that comment, rule number 4 kicked in hard, and DorkBoy1 was in my sights.

He played out a couple hands . . . actually won a few without any ridiculous play. I sat and waited. Some of the chaff has been knocked off by the time I'm in the blinds again, and I look down at pocket 9s. But by this point, 80% of the table has called the blinds. I gotta make a stand. So I raise to 10x the blind. Ridiculous. But I get two callers, including DorkBoy1. Flop comes 6-9-7, rainbow. Don't like the straight possibility, but trips aren't a bad start. I bet the same amount as my original raise . . . and DorkBoy1 calls. Turn is a 4 - I bet the same amount as my original raise . . . and DorkBoy1 calls. Final card is a J . . . no flush possibility . . . I go all in. DorkBoy1 has me outchipped and calls. And turns over his pocket 4s. "You're going down, Chako Taco," he types.

As a woman, I'm always amused that grown men still use that kind of grade-school naming scheme to try to insult each other. Its either that, or "Homo" . . . either way, total leftovers from when they were 12. And after all, its not like I sucked out with my 9s . . . I played them strong all the way from the start. So I kept plugging and eventually amassed over 70% of the chips at the table. DorkBoy1 busted out before the "money" . . . and I won the round.

I love when a plan comes together.

Thanks for reading . . . and keeping tabs on my far away Doc.

Respectfully submitted,

The Wife