How could I resist? She needed to spice things up a bit anyway. I mean, seriously, when is the last time she put up a panty post? Or anything raunchy, for that matter? At least she lets me out once in a while. So here’s what your dear friend and alter ego Jayne has been up to since the Cheeseheads had their day . . .
- Shoes. Thank God the woman still likes fun shoes and takes me shopping with her. Between her budget consciousness and my eye for shoes that make our feet look hot, she managed to pick up 3 new pair of lovelies for our collection for less than $80! The little floral sling-backs just SCREAM spring, and the blue Guess heels with the metallic trim are classy enough for her and sassy enough for me. I did have to work to convince her to buy the little black platform booties with all the chains and zippers, but they look SO hot (in that “I’m not REALLY a dominatrix kind of way), and she already got those red “F-me” platform things she wore to Vegas – what’s one more pair of shoes you can’t wear to church?
- Katkin. He was visiting from Vegas a few weeks ago, and the Chako’s kindly structured a whole weekend around fun with Katkin. Katkin at the house Friday night. Golf with Katkin on Saturday in the rain (rain sucked, Katkin didn’t). Poker at the house with friends and Katkin. Got to kiss Katkin. More than once. May have performed a repeat of the live straddle (solely for illustrative purposes, of course). Might have been helped by the generous amounts of Gentleman Jack and Coke I discovered I liked (maybe made a little too strong). May have a video of me laughing hysterically at drunk friend singing bad Ozzie/Lita Ford song that was filmed by Katkin. Still love him and get warm fuzzies every time I see Steven Spielberg on TV.
- Napa. Private wine tastings. A day at the salon where they did my nails, my hair, and sprayed my bare back with sparkles so I’d look hot in my dress. Hot silver dress with low back. Escorted by Dr. Chako looking dapper in a tux (even if he forgot his cufflinks and had to detour to get new ones before the dinner). Ogled by rich business men and wine connoisseurs and felt up by THE Francis Ford Coppola. Hot tub in my bra and panties because I forgot a suit. More wine tasting on Sunday. If Mrs. Chako hadn’t gotten a migraine, I could have done some serious damage.
- New York. Ok, she didn’t really let me go all Jayne, but she did let me just enjoy a weekend with no responsibilities, including a Broadway play, lunch and dinner with friends and family, shopping around NYC and lounging in a penthouse floor hotel room ‘til almost noon after the time change. And she probably wouldn’t have done that if Dr Chako hadn’t been a nice hubby and let her weekend there between work stints – thanks Dr. C. Oh, and frozen yogurt at Red Mango with fresh strawberries and blueberries - lordy we could be fat if that stuff were as accessible as it was in NYC. She wouldn’t, however, let me buy the sassy red formal mermaid-shaped dress that was 50% off at Lord & Taylors – something about not fitting in her carryon. TSA, SCMEE-SA.
Seems like there isn’t quite enough kissing in this recap – may have to remedy that in the future. Until then, know that Mrs. Chako is fine – buried in her work and pursuing new avenues in the company; trying to be wife, mom, friend, and business woman; contemplating filing her taxes; keeping Excedrin a market leader in migraine relief.And know that Jayne is still alive and kicking . . . long live Jayne!
Jayne C. (lover, fighter, alter-ego extraordinaire)